Falling in love is a trouble

TRANSLATE: Best role of idiot.

"So boy

You just be honest with me

I know we can make this work

Love You

I know that you afraid, babe

But you don't need to be saved babe

You just need someone that understand

And I think I need the same babe"

You already have Justin Bieber hairstyle, short, black, tuft, scraped lateral, blonde and now hair fringe, but do you what never changed? The fact that I always was near - not physically, because you even know that I exist - loving you and supporting you.

"Tell me what you want, let's keep it gangsta

Tell me who created you. I'd thank her

Hopefully you'll give me a chance

All I want is love and romance

I wanna give it al, give it all to you"

I was 9-years-old when I met you, and you was 14-years-old. I was naive. Your smile and your rola fascinated me. I really believed that you had no defects, I really believed that you could like me and we will be happy together, what a fool of mine!

"Tell me what you want, I can't believe it

I know that if we make it there's a reason

Sometimes it ain't breezy

I hope that maybe this time it may be different

I told you I'mma make it happen, I commit it

Yeah, you took your shot and didn't miss it

Ain't nothing more attractive than a mission"

You did do many things, involved me in so many problems and I always defended you, I always found an explanation and I believed in what you said. I argued with people that said bad things about you BECAUSE OF YOU, because I loved you. But today, with 16-years-old, I see how blind I was, I didn't see what was clear.

"If I came to your crib would you open the door?

I don't wanna go down that road no more

I wanted it more

You're the only I wanna be with, yeah"

You had lost all your friends, your family didn't talk to you anymore, your neighbors hated you, my parents didn't like you, no one wanted to see your face, but not me, I thought that they were being unfair with you, I didn't realize that if the whole world was against you, the problem was with you.

"The world against you and I against the world", this was my motto.

"My mamma don't like you and she likes everyone

You should go and love yourself.

When you told that you hated my friend

The only problem was with you and not them

And baby I be movin' on"

This is what passion does to us, it make us blind, it prevents us from seeing the obvious. Passion make us act like idiots/ We do everything for someone that despises us, someone that don't have a minor interest in us.

"I wanna dream what you dream

Go where you're going

I only have one life

And I only wanna live it with you

I wanna sleep where you sleep

Connect with your soul

The only thing I want in life

I only wanna live it with you."

We spend many hours of our lives thinking in that person, idealizing moments, thinking in what he should be doing, with who he is, what he is feeling, if he thinks in us as we think in them. ITS OBVIOUS THAT HE DOESN'T THINK IN US, but it's part of the show.

"Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?

You got your hazard lights on now

Hoping that somebody would slow down

God sent an angel to help you out

He gave you direction

Shower you how to read a map

But you squandered the chance"

And in a beautiful day our heart is broke and we wake up to life, we see everything that we never see. We see in what point we arrive because we liked so much that person, and we feel like fool. We ask to ourselves: "How I could be so blind?"

"You think you broke my hear, oh boy, for goodness sake

You think I'm crying, oh, well I ain't

And I didn't wanna write this cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care

I don't

And I never like to admit that I was wrong 

And I've been so caught up, I didn't see what's going on

And now I know, I'm better sleeping on my own."

* The texts in italic are parts of Justin Bieber's song (One Life, Love Yourself and Life is worth living).

As I said in my biography, I'm not a native English speaker and I created this blog to practice my English, so if I made any mistake, let me know, write on the comments! I want to improve my English, so don't be afraid to correct me, on the contrary, I want to know! Thank you :) 

Live the life you want to remember

And if someday you wake up and realize that the person you married isn't the love of your life? And if you look at her and realize that you don't love her? And if you conclude that your married is the reason to your unhappiness? Probably your married will end in divorce, as 50% of the weddings.

And if then you get the divorce, you realize that the married wasn't the reason of your unhappiness, and of course, your professional frustration? Easy, you leave you job and set up a photography studio, that always was your dream.

The years go by and you started seeing that the things aren't so easy. You are not so young anymore and your beauty go away in the meddle of the frustrations of life and the arrival of the age.

Your parents already died, your sister is in Switzerland with her husband and two kids, your friends are enjoying married life and the pregnancy, and you... You are without husband, without financial stability, without a family, without accomplishments, just observing everything from outside, seeing everybody around you achieving their goals.

The depression, that you didn't even remember that you having terrorized for years, coming back softly. Your frustration just get bigger.

You asked to yourself: "Where did I go wrong?", "What did I do wrong?". And you start to cry, feeling (insecure) a teenager again.

This story can have several ends, it only depends on you. Do you want to reach 40-years-old and feel like the woman of the story or do you want to feel fulfilled?

Today's choice will reflect on tomorrow, so live the life you want to remember.

Let's talk about feelings

Sometimes, feeling can be more treacherous than people.

After I know the theory "who irritates you, dominates you", I could not stop thinking about a asshole boy, and the worst, I realize that a I had think him when I read the theory.

"But why I can't get him off of my mind?", I asked myself, annoying.

"I hate him!", I tried to use this argument as supreme argument to my annoyance.

And in this time, when I think and tried to understand - extremely irritated, annoyance, sour - the reason why I can't get him off of my mind, I truly understand what the theory means. This boys annoying me so much that he dominates my thoughts. I waste so much time stressing over him, complaining about him, that I didn't see that my life revolved around him - conversations [I always find a way to complain about him], the parties I went and he went too [he looked at me with that ugly look, which made me complain about his presence and groan inside me], the walks I did and saw something that remind me about him, the people who treat me with ignorance [it was impossible to see someone being stupid and don't remember him] or when I was with my friends, colleagues or known people and they asked how was our [hate] relationship -.

My life had started to revolve around him and I didn't want this, so I decide that I would stop thinking abou him, I was determinate.

So I did - and I saw that it wasn't so hard. When I was busy, I didn't remember his existence.

I was happy with the result, my quality of life increased absurdly since the done.

Months were passing, and I stopped nourishing the hate or any feeling that I had for him, only having irrelevance.

It was what I, mere mortal, thought.

Everything changes when I said to my friend, who has crush on him, that I wanted to be a godmother of a son of him and she replied me that later they married, she had to get way from me, because if she doesn't, he would cheat on her with me, because she knew that he had a crush on me.

That comment left me in the clouds, really, that means so much to me that, without I realize, I rated as the best new that I received. Wait, didn't I hate him?

"I know he had a crush on you" means so much that till today my heart smiles when I remember she saying this.

Later this episode, I started to observe his attitudes about me, and my reaction, and I scared when I see that I was smiling alone remembering of him looking at me and trying to disfarce after I catch him looking at me.

My opinion about it? It's amazing how the world goes around.

My advice? Live without regrets.



| November, 2, 2015 |

Hello, it's me

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years 

You'd like to meet to go over everything 

They say that time's supposed to heal 

But I ain't done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?

I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be

When we were younger and free

I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

There's such a difference between us

And a milion miles

Hello from the other side

I must've called a thousand times to tell you

I'm sorry for everything that I've done

But I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I've tried to tell

I'm sorry for breaking you heart

But it doesn't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself

I'm sorry, I hope that you're well

Did you ever make it out of that town

Where nothing ever happened?

It's no secret

That the both of us are running out of time

So hello from the other side

I must've called a thousand times to tell you

I'm sorry for everything that I've done

- Adele

Is it too late to say that I miss you? After you left,  I thought that everything would end and I would remember you, it took time, but I was right, for years I really didn't remember of you, but someday like an asteroid, a photo of you hit me and my world shook.

"I always wanted you both together", was a message of my friend.

My heart pounded, my body tensed, my eyes filled and my head turned.

"Never again", I said when you left, but as a flood, everything came out.

"I miss you", I whispered to myself.

"I never forgot you", I noticed.

"We fought a lot, the distance is the best thing", I tried to remember the reasons that made me don't like you.

"But only he pulls me out so many sincere smiles", I replied to myself. I get sad again. I wanted to cry.

"Did you already think that everything could be different if we had met at other time?", I asked looking the photo as if he could hear me. At this time I already cried.

Everything would have been different.

| October, 31, 2015 |