Let's talk about feelings

Sometimes, feeling can be more treacherous than people.

After I know the theory "who irritates you, dominates you", I could not stop thinking about a asshole boy, and the worst, I realize that a I had think him when I read the theory.

"But why I can't get him off of my mind?", I asked myself, annoying.

"I hate him!", I tried to use this argument as supreme argument to my annoyance.

And in this time, when I think and tried to understand - extremely irritated, annoyance, sour - the reason why I can't get him off of my mind, I truly understand what the theory means. This boys annoying me so much that he dominates my thoughts. I waste so much time stressing over him, complaining about him, that I didn't see that my life revolved around him - conversations [I always find a way to complain about him], the parties I went and he went too [he looked at me with that ugly look, which made me complain about his presence and groan inside me], the walks I did and saw something that remind me about him, the people who treat me with ignorance [it was impossible to see someone being stupid and don't remember him] or when I was with my friends, colleagues or known people and they asked how was our [hate] relationship -.

My life had started to revolve around him and I didn't want this, so I decide that I would stop thinking abou him, I was determinate.

So I did - and I saw that it wasn't so hard. When I was busy, I didn't remember his existence.

I was happy with the result, my quality of life increased absurdly since the done.

Months were passing, and I stopped nourishing the hate or any feeling that I had for him, only having irrelevance.

It was what I, mere mortal, thought.

Everything changes when I said to my friend, who has crush on him, that I wanted to be a godmother of a son of him and she replied me that later they married, she had to get way from me, because if she doesn't, he would cheat on her with me, because she knew that he had a crush on me.

That comment left me in the clouds, really, that means so much to me that, without I realize, I rated as the best new that I received. Wait, didn't I hate him?

"I know he had a crush on you" means so much that till today my heart smiles when I remember she saying this.

Later this episode, I started to observe his attitudes about me, and my reaction, and I scared when I see that I was smiling alone remembering of him looking at me and trying to disfarce after I catch him looking at me.

My opinion about it? It's amazing how the world goes around.

My advice? Live without regrets.



| November, 2, 2015 |